Social skill is a skill like playing guitar. It can be learned. It can be improved, which requires doing it again and again.
I’m not extrovert naturally myself. I’m not high energy guy always having a need to say something. I’m very calm. But the difference how I used to be, is not what I say, but how I behave. The tone of voice, body language, facial expressions. Even I’m not social butterfly and the center of the party, I’m not shy anymore. And it’s the first thing to get over to improve social skills.
People I’ve known a long time are always saying ”You used to be so shy, how you got rid of it?”.
And the new people I meet say ”I can’t believe you have been shy in past, you just don’t look like it!”.
Here are some tips what you can start applying today in your interaction with people if you already haven’t:
- Eye contact. Take and hold an eye contact with the people you are talking with. If your look is wandering around, you are making yourself look like insecure. This is the habit you’ll learn when you do this enough.
- Be polite. This isn’t the same thing as over kindness. Be polite, but if someone is trying to put you down, stand for yourself.
- Listen. Social interaction requires a two people. People like to talk about themselfs. When you are good listener, people start to like you more and want to have prolonged conversations.
- Bodylanguage. This is important. Your bodylanguage tells more than your words. If you insecurely hold your arms around your body, you are keeping closed bodylanguage which make you look like you are uncomfortable. Even if you weren’t, but these are the little things that you probably don’t realize yourself. People may think you don’t want to talk with them as you look uncomfortable. By having an open and confident language you become more charismatic and people like more to have conversation with you. If you are standing, don’t swing around. Stand with good posture, arms relaxed and have an eye contact with the one you are talking with. This alone makes you look greatly more confident. If you are sitting, spread your legs and lean back smoothly. Maybe put your arms widely between you.
- Sense of humor. Having a good sense of humor is a imporant trait. People like guys who are chill, funny and positive. None like negative people. Don’t be so serious about things, laugh at them. Nothing to stress about, everything will end up good in the end. One imporant thing when you are telling something which you think is funny, is not to burst into laugh. People find this uncomfortable when you are laughing at your own jokes which aren’t funny really. Let them laugh first, then you can.
- Ability to laugh at yourself. Guys who have ability to not take them too serious and make joke of themselfs are likeable. These types of people create an aura of calmness around them. People around them can feel relaxed. The next time you do something embarassing, don’t try to defend and struggle back. Laugh at yourself with other’s. By not feeling a shame you’ll become a man people like to follow.
- Call people with their names. Not of course when you are talking with two of you, but when you are in group. When you are using names, instead of pointing ”you”, you’ll be more likeable. People want to hear their own names.
- Don’t argue. It won’t lead nowhere. What you win if you win the opposite in arguing? Right. Especially with women, it’s like arguing with kid. You can’t win. Instead go with the flow and let the other say whatever.
- Be open. Don’t judge people. If you meet a new people and immediately start judging her/his opinions, you’ll get hated. Be open up and listen people telling their opinions. By being open about this and not judging, meeting new people and making them like you becames much more easier.
- Don’t try to push people like you. Be yourself. If someone don’t like you, it’s okay. There is always hater, you can’t please everyone. People are more likely coming like you when you aren’t forcing them to like you.
- Don’t brag. Don’t try to get validation example by bragging how many women’s you fuck. None likes people who brag. True players don’t need approval by telling how much women they get.
- Don’t be arrogant. None likes arrogant people.
- Smile. But in moderation. People who never smile, gives a vibe of boring and negative guy. Don’t over do smiling either, but have it on moderation. A little smirk is sexy and mysterious.
By applying these traits of the list above makes you much more charismatic and more likeable. Start using them everyday. Over time it becomes your second nature. Example the bodylanguage thing, when I first started to apply it on my everyday situations, it was forced. When I did it again and again, it became a habit I didn’t even notice. I naturally had that relaxed bodylanguage.
This post was from the eBook where is step by step guide how to go from zero experience with girls to getting laid easily and living the player lifestyle: