A girl doesn’t answer on my messages anymore. What to do? (How to deal with flakes)

You have successfully picked up a girl, got her phone number, texting her. Everything is going well, she’s into you and the future looks bright. Then suddenly she goes no contact. A full radio silence. She’s not answering anymore to your messages.

Sounds familiar?

In this post I’m going to go through how to deal when she is not answering anymore on you messages/phone calls, a flaking.

I learned a hard way this

My first successful pickup at bar a long time ago that lead to phone number, I was thinking many hours what to text on her for not f#cking things up and lose her attraction. Of course I was so wrong at this point. The mindset should’ve been: “I text her. If she don’t answer or acts bitchy, f#ck her. I go for another”.

Instead I was thinking: “What should I text her so she would still maintain interest on me. If she acts bitchy I try to game on her”.

I lacked some self-respect. If the girl had a bad response or she didn’t reply on my texts, I still tried to save the situation desperately. I should have went straight to no-contact.

The very first girl I tried to run some text game, I texted on her some playful stuff and shit, didn’t lead anywhere. I analyzed too much: every response she was sending, desperately contacted her too much so she would keep me on her mind. And then out of suddenly, a flake.

I was so confused. Why she suddenly stopped responding on my texts. I though I said something wrong and she lost interest because of that.

Why she’s flaking?

Few possible reasons:

  • You texted too much and made yourself look too desperate (messages should only change when you are about to setup a date) and she lost interest
  • She wasn’t attracted to you from the beginning. On phone it’s not possible to anymore change that via texts. Some girls just gives their number as being a polite, not intend to take things anywhere.
  • She found someone else she’s into

The reason for flaking, she isn’t interest on you anymore. What to do now?

Go full no-contact. There is no reason to try to save the situation, all you are doing is giving her a validation which she doesn’t earn off you. I tried to save situation desperately back in the days. When girl started flaking, I thought maybe she’s just testing me, and I didn’t text on her few days, until again I did. And these never ended up anywhere. Only ate my mental energy and time which I could use to find better girls.

One girl who played on me, went out of nowhere no contact and stopped text on me. Then weeks later she contacted on me. I was of course exited and texted on her. And didn’t got response. I felt horrible afterwards. Had to learn it hard way, fortunately I understood to not contact on her anymore.

The mistake I did back then, I had a little hope that maybe they can be saved and attraction put back to fire. All I did was wasted my time on them instead of finding a girls that actually would be attracted to me. After I learned, I only texted once.

Never double text if she doesn’t answer on the first message. If she would take contact on me later, I would be the side who is caring less. Only if she would suggest a meeting I would do, but never asked again if she flaked once.

Also. If you have setup a date and she flakes just when the moment is coming, do not contact on her anymore. Have some self-respect and don’t go date on her even she would ask it later. If she flakes on you on the first date you have setup, she is not worth of your time.

How to avoid flaking?

Unfortunately there is little to no power on you to avoid them, as it’s the first meeting you picked her number that made her the impression you had. One thing is what said on above, don’t text too often and be too desperate, as this is one sure way to kill an attraction.

Instead of thinking how to avoid them, you should accept the fact that she has the ball until you have f#cked her. So all you can do now is to act non-needy and hope for the best. Or not hope, that sounds needy. To be neutral about it, no having any future plans, just mind that there is a chance she could flake, if she don’t, that’s great then and go look where the things go.

This when you’ve picked her number from cold-approach. On tinder you have even less power to avoid flakes, and they are very common on there.

Flakes sucks bad. It’s just horrible feeling when you have put some good text game on her and having a good future plans, and then ‘boom’, a flake. That’s why I don’t think for future, and have a mindset that if she flake, it’s no-contact and go f#ck other girls.

This attitude of not caring too much usually makes her more interested in you.

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