The more F@#ks you give, the less Pussy you get
The quote above tells it all.
Desperation. This one trait that can easily ruin your chances even you got all the other traits good. Nothing is more turn off to women than extremely desperate man. This is the thing I talked about losing virginity to be the hardest lay one have to achieve, due the desperation of getting it done.
This is why guys who already have had a rich sex life are getting it easy. They have developed a mindset of not putting pussy on pedestal anymore after lots of experience. When you are not giving attention to women, she will chase you even more.
It’s though little bit a work to calibrate your ‘game’ to the point where you are playing a huge numbers game and approaching lot of women, and still manage to be a non-desperate. My routine of getting laid is that way, and I calibrated my mindset when picking up to the right way after lots of experience.
When I started this as a virgin and got over the approach anxiety and had improved my social skills and playfulness, I still got this trait holding my back. I could made girl a laugh and interest in me, but when I had to take things further I got problems, as I lacked the balls to ask straight for sex and picked only phone numbers. Which I turned to dates.
I could fake my non-desperate attitude that far, but when it was about to setting up dates and playing the ‘text game'(That I hate), I went desperate. I would be texting here desperately to make sure she still remember me. I would text her to makes sure she is coming to dates. Desperately having interview style conversations while texting. Losing many good girls that were firstly interested in me, but I ruined it by getting too desperate.
The experience will teach. I remember the first time I successfully got the phone number and texted her, I was looking the phone every 10 seconds if she would have replied. That sucked. As I did it more and more, I firstly became non-desperate when I had to text to girl. I wouldn’t care either she would reply or not. I was too lazy to make conversations with her, I just wanted to set up a date.
I realized that it worked. I got much more less flakes and started to build more the non-desperate attitude.
Then it was dates. On the dates I desperately tried to keep her interested and make sure the dates would end up in bedroom. Girls can instinct this kind of behavior. Instead I should have had live in the moment and have a good time so I will enjoy, and not desperately thinking either the date would end up in sex or not. I had read things that you should have sex on first date or she will friendzone you, which is bullshit. If you can have a good vibe and be comfortable in yourself, she will not lose her interest even you are not going for sex on first date. The pressure of getting friendzoned also made me desperate.
Again as I gained experience, I wouldn’t mind anymore either I would get in friendzone or not. The desperation disappeared as I knew that even if I didn’t get this girl, I had improved myself so much that getting girls were easy. This mindset just feed itself and made my success even better.
Then I started to test my limits as I wouldn’t care anymore either I would lose her interest or not. Played huge numbers game, went as short as in minutes from approach to sex in toilet. The more experience, the less desperation.
How to avoid being desperate?
As my story, the experience will get you there. You can acquire the mindset of not caring either you get laid or not, and focus on having good time with her in non-friendly way. Like you are still flirting and teasing with her, making her horny, but not rushing into sex. This will make her even more horny. Turning the tables and making her to chase you.