How to be playful and escalate on dates

If you have no idea what to do on dates, how to keep conversation flowing, how to go for kiss, maybe sex on the first date; here is complete guide how to do it.

I would like to share a quick story first about my experience to go for sex on first dates. It took me long time to figure out how to do this, but then it clicked. You can skip this story and go straight to the guide below this paragraph.

Quick story of getting laid on first date

So, I had picked up this girl’s phone number and set up date. When I arrived to the place we had settled (bus station), she was already there. I walked towards her and greet her:

Me: “Hello, nice to meet you”

Her: “Hello, you too!”

I hugged her and said: “You look good!”. She smiled and thank. I asked something like this:

Me: “You have any idea of good bars around here?”

She had idea. I took command and said her to lead us there. We walked to the bar hand in hand (The key is to make it physical as soon as possible, so she can be comfortable later for going make out). We had some small talk on the way to the bar, like asking how was her day went so far. I already acting playful at this moment and she was flirting back.

After we arrived to the bar, we ordered drinks and went to the table. It was a quiet bar. Not those loud nightclubs you can’t here anything. Btw, don’t ever arrange a first date (or any date) on these kinds of nightclubs, it’s a disaster from my experience.

Anyway, I sat close beside her. Having the playful attitude whole time. After about 15 minutes I went for kiss. She agreed. It escalated a more passionate making out. I brushed her hair and said something like: “I’m getting boner haha. You’are so hot”. She was getting horny too. Then I asked either we could go to her or mine place. She asked me to her place. We drank our drinks and left the bar, went on her place. Things went for sex immediately after we got there.

This story was not for bragging. It was one of the examples how to get laid on first date. Below are more detailed steps what to do, what to say and how to go for kiss.

Meeting her

If you got her phone number example on Tinder , and you have changed just a few words via texting, the first encounter when you meet at the date is important.  Go straight to her and hug, say something like “you look good”. Don’t handshake. By hugging you go straight physical and it’s easier to escalate for kiss later. If she refuses to hug, which is rare, you laugh and say: “oh sorry I’m moving too fast, we just met haha”.

I’ve been on probably on hundreds of dates, have experienced great dates and pure disasters, so I know what to do and what NOT to do.

After first encounter

After a hug and greeting, if you haven’t decided a place to go and you have no idea either, you can ask if she knows any good bars/coffeeshops, wherever you are going. There is said that you as a man should know and decide the dating place, but from my experience it doesn’t matter. I usually give woman choice where we are going. So no stress about not having any ideas.

By walking the place you are going, you can try to grab her hand. It’s physical game. She will see you as a man who is not afraid of doing what he wants, which is attractive. Also this makes you look like you are experienced with woman (pre-selection), which also makes you more attractive. If she refuses grabbing hand, no worry, just do like above and take few steps back. It’s about taking things as far as you can, and if she refuses, you take few steps back and try again later. Push and pull.

At Bar

If you want coffee date, skip this section.

Go to bar and grab a beer. You can be a gentleman if you want and offer her drink too. This doesn’t make you look like beta, as long as she isn’t asking you to buy her a drink. I haven’t noticed any difference on success between buying her or not buying a drink. Or I don’t have enough statistics of offering a drink as I do it rarely. Both ways have had lays thought.

Now take a seat somewhere where you can sit side by side. If you take a table where you are sitting face to face, it’s hard to go physical. When you are sitting side by side example on sofa at bar, after a moment you’ve been talking you can put arm over her and take her closer to you. Remember to look at her eyes when talking.

What to talk about?

The basic topics, like school and work are usually boring topics to talk about, but can be talked quickly so you both know something about each other. You don’t actually need to talk yourself a lot, if you are interested about her hobbies and life and let her share them to you. Revealing too much about you on first date makes you boring, you need to be little mysterious. So don’t share your whole life story on first date.

Also don’t brag about earlier experiences with girls. If you can do it subtle way, to show her that you have other women in life without making it bragging, it’s good. Telling straight about earlier sex experiences is pure stupidity. If she is doing the same, either displaying subtle or straight that she has a men chasing him, do not react anyway. Just take it neutral way, and she’s more interested about you as you don’t look desperate or jealousy.

Good way to keep conversation flowing is that you are always the last one speaking. No one word replies, try to make them statements and questions. Also if there is some other subject that isn’t linked the current subject, start talk about it if you go out of words. Example of awkward moment:

Me: “So how’s your summer vacation gone so far?”

Her: “It’s pretty chill, only went festivals few weeks ago”

Me: “Okay cool, which festival?”

Her: “Trance festivals”

Me: “Okay cool”

Awkward silence

Better Example:

Me: “So how’s your summer vacation gone so far?”

Her: “It’s pretty chill, only went festivals few weeks ago”

Me: “Okay cool, I haven’t been none for ages, should go somewhere when still time. Which festival you were?”

Her: “Trance festivals”

Me: “Okay cool, I’m not into trance so much. Probably I should start listening it?”

Her: “Haha absolutely”

Me: “Can we go over your place to listen some trance? nothing else”

Her: “Haha we’ll see later”

Me: “Cool, I can’t wait to get there. I believe you can make me a trance addict. Where you lived though?”

Her:”….. conversation keeps flowing

This is good way to keep conversation flowing. Never answering one word replies, making statements and questions, and changing subjects if there is nothing more talk about. Like above example I changed subject from festivals, to music genre, to her place. Also not going straight to her place, just subtle like that and not hinting about sex. Joking about going there and not having a sex is good way to increase sexual tension.

Becoming playful and learning the skill of teasing girls

Women loves guys who can be playful and tease them. It’s like a part of the foreplay and increasing the sexual tension.

Teasing is not the same thing as offending.

Teasing is like showing you like her, but then you actually pull back and act distant. And after a while again push for liking her. By pushing and pulling you create a good amount of sexual tension. Also not being an afraid to say something that’s she might get offended, but not to actually offend her.


You: ”Nice tits”

Her: ”Haha thanks”

You: ”Mine are bigger though”

Her: ”Hahaha”

Firstly you are giving her a compliment (little naughty in this example). Then you joke about it and act over confident in humor way by promoting yourself.

Another example:

You: ”You are really hot, I’m falling in love with you.”

Her: ”Haha thanks!”

You: ”You from here?”

Her: ”Yes”

You: ”Damn, I don’t date local ones, would otherwise made you my wife”

Her: ”Hahaha”

In this you are firstly pushing yourself for her with compliments, then you pull back by joking about her in good way and acting you don’t like her anymore. This could be continued to push again with example: ”I don’t trust locals, but maybe you are different?” ans so on.

It’s like cat mouse play by turning tables again and again. You first chase her, turn the table for her chasing you. There are many ways to do this, and you do this more it, you become naturally flirty around girls.

More examples for being playful

Not playful example:

Me: “So what are you training?”

Her: “I do dancing”

Me: “Nice, how long you’ve done that?”

Her: “About 6 years”

Me: “That’s a long time!”

Playful example:

Me: “So what are you training?”

Her: “I do dancing”

Me: “Nice, dancers have a good booties. You have one too”

Her: “Haha thanks”

Me: “But I have better ass than you”

She probably laughs and poke you playfully back. Being a little bit asshole makes girls wet.

When to kiss?

After you’ve break the ice. Either it’s 5 mins after you met, or at the end of the date. At the bar it’s good time go for kiss thought, if you are sitting side by side. If you have a silence moment, it’s good. Just look deeply in her eyes, pull her towards you and go for it. I know it’s f@#king scary if you are inexperienced. It took me a long time before I had balls to go for kiss. Now it’s feels as natural as possible. The more you do it, the less you are scared to do it later. At some point it becomes you naturally. If she refuses kiss, don’t take it serious and joke about it something like: “Oh sorry, you were too irresistible and I had to go for kiss haha”.

One thing about kissing is for sure, especially if you are not getting sex on first date and you want to meet her again. Kiss her at the end of the date. Say something like:

Me: “Well it was nice to met you”

Her: “You too!”

[5seconds silence] …. Pull her against you and kiss.

Also, if you didn’t end up getting sex on first date, don’t go too desperate to text her. Give it a day or two if she may text to you, if not, then you can ask her for another date. Date at your or her place. In this post more about that.

These eBook are instant Free downloads. Hopefully you find them  helpful!

Program of becoming immune to rejections

This eBook contains different daily drills you can do to get over the fear of approaching women, becoming immune to rejections and overall confident around women and social situations. Program is designed to get you from zero experience with women to build courage to confidently approach women everywhere you go. Download link is below.

week1program.pdf (265 downloads)

The Lone Wolf Game

This eBook contains more theory about how to build an attractive behavior and apply it in daily life, also containing step by step guide how to go alone from approach to sex at bars/clubs. The full version of the eBook can be get here. (My other site)

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12 Replies to “How to be playful and escalate on dates”

  1. Hello Brad! You say dont handshake when you meet the girl on date. Why is that? Also I would like to ask about your book. I got it before you added some updates. What new does it contains basically? Liked the old version btw. The way of picking up girls “Clicked” to me as you say.

    1. Hello! I prefer hugging over handshake, as handshake is more a thing you would do with friends. And you don’t want to friendzone her:) The new book is same as the old one you got, but there is new 15 days program. It contains different drills to make you more confident around girls and social situation, also helping you to get over the fear of approaching girls. Glad you found it helpful!

    1. Hello Sanny, I’m glad to hear you would like to read more of my posts! I appreciate that. Unfortunately I’ve been very busy of other things, so I’haven’t had time to write here new stuff. Will definitely make new posts when I get some time.

  2. You put forward some eloquent considerations-though I believe you are in need of detail. I would like to see you clarify some things, because you are a very eloquent author and I get immense value from reading your posts.|

    1. Hello. Thanks for the comment! I’m glad
      you found these posts helpful! I will try to make them more detailed in furure, will
      put this task in my to-do list!

    1. Haha I’m very flattered to hear that:) Thank you very much and hopefully you’l keep reading in future too my blog/s!

  3. Sweet blog! I found it while surfing around on Yahoo News. Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Cheers

    1. Thank you! I’m very glad you liked this blog! Yahoo News? No any idea sorry, I didn’t even know it was there. Can you link me that News?:)

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