How to pickup women at club/bar?

Clubs/bars are my favorite places to pickup girls and get laid. I’ve had most of my lays via this way and have a lot of experience with this, so I know what to do.

Btw, before reading this article, “The Bar Pickup Guide”, you can also get 3 free eBooks about:

-Going alone to Bars/Clubs and getting Laid

-Complete guide how to pickup women at Daytime (From first approach to sex)

-Mindset Of Success

Join the Lonewolfmentality Newsletter below. You’ll get those eBooks as a welcome gift for joining.  (Please check your spam folder if you don’t get the Welcome/Download link email in 15 minutes, otherwise contact me: bradshoc[at] )

You’ll get instant download links for those eBooks. If you don’t want to join (I’ll not spam you and you can unsubscribe the Newsletter anytime), at least read this article please. If you join, add this article on your bookmark to read later if you would like to read those books first 🙂

Here’s Table of Contents of these books:

Complete Cold Approaching Guide
The LoneWolf Game

Bar/Nightclub Pickup Guide

Reasons to go bars/clubs for picking up women

Some reasons why club game is better than tinder/online dating:

  • No catfishes. There may wait a surprise on first date. At club you can straight see how she looks like/ how she behave.
  • You get more confidence and social skills. By going solo to bar and forcing yourself to talk with people, your social skills will skyrocket.
  • Same night lays. No need to wait for meeting her or possible going to many dates before sex. Club game is about quick lays.
  • Funny and exiting experiences. Rarely on online date you end up having a sex on public places like on toilet.

Some reasons why club game is better than approaching women on Daytime:

  • Same day lays. Rarely daygame ends up instant dates and lays.
  • No gathering phone numbers, instead straight to the point aka sex.
  • Socially more acceptable. In bar it’s normal to approach women.

Where to approach?

That’s why I like most bars and clubs. Now if you have no idea where to pickup girls at bar, these are good places:

  • Dance floor. Check this post how to pickup girls on dance floor.
  • Smoking room. More quiet and easy to start convos like asking a light.
  • At bar when getting drinks. It’s good place to start convos, and get out easily if it’s not going anywhere.

Not as good places:

  • Girls sitting at table. 3 is a good amount. If they are just 2 of them, you need to entertainment her friend so she won’t cockblock you. Sometimes though it’s okay for her friend if you are just 3 of you there to have all the time with you and her. 3 of girls is better, as now they have 2 of them still left to hang out each other and you can have all the time with the girl you are picking up.

Bad places:

  • People having their own inside ring. Usually bunch of guys and girls who are only together and don’t socialize none out of their circle. Not only if you are picking up girl from this kind of group, there usually comes the jealousy guys trying to cockblock you. Avoid these, so you don’t waste time.

How to open conversation?

Direct openers usually works good. I rarely do anymore indirect openers, I like to go straight to the point that I wanna f@#k her tonight. Indirect openers are good training if you have approach anxiety or not yet experience. I can’t remember right now any indirect openings, as it’s long time since I did them last time, so here are some direct openers:

  • “Hello, how’s your night going so far? you are cute btw”
  • “Hi you are hot, wanna dance?”
  • “You are both cute, how’s your night?”
  • “You have a lighter” [she gives a light] “Thx, you are cute btw, I’m …[hand shake]”

The point is just asking some random question and compliment her. Complimenting her looks is not beta, it’s good way to make sure right from the start that you are interested on her sexually and not end up in friend zone. I’m not going to post on this post how to escalate again, as it’s posted mostly in this post. Maybe later I make more detailed step by step escalation guide.

How to escalate, go for kiss and take things to next level?

Now after opening, she either rejects you or agreed to have your company. This doesn’t mean though she is sexually interested in you. So next step is to find out either she is willing to fuck you or not.

Few signs of her being interested in you:

  • She is smiling a lot.
  • She laughs a lot whatever you are saying. Even it wouldn’t be funny.
  • She brushes her hair.
  • She is willing to ask about you and keep conversation flowing. You aren’t the one who need to be the one talking.
  • Her face is blushing.
  • She is having an eye contact.

Few signs of her not being interested. At this point just leave politely, things aren’t going nowhere.

  • She is not having an eye contact with you.
  • She answers to you with one or two words. Like “Okay”, “No”.
  • She acts cold.

After you open the conversation, have a little small talk with her. Find out how she behaves. If she acts like signs of being interested, you are good to go.

Example opening:

You: “Hello, how’s your night going so far? you are cute btw”

Her: “Hello, thanks. Pretty good so far, how’s yours?” [she smiles and brushes her hair, meaning she might be interested]

You: “Good so far, I was going to order drinks but saw you and had to approach haha”

Her: “Okay haha”

Handshake her after this and introduce yourself:

You: “I’m Brad, nice to meet you!”

Her: “I’m [name], nice to meet you too!”

Some small talk:

You: “So, this’s your favorite bar?”

Her: “Haha no, I don’t know how I ended up here”

You: “Okay, mine neither haha. Are you from here or?”

Her: “Yes, living at [some place]”

A little teasing.

You: “Damn, that’s rich area. Maybe we can live there in future after our weddings.”

Her: “Weddings haha?? You are taking things far pretty fast”

You: “Yes I’m. I’m also gold digger. Willing to marry only rich women. I’m poor as fuck myself”

Some self irony. Also displaying confidence to say things straight.

Her: “Haha, I’m not into gold diggers”

You: “Oh really? Not even me, just look at how irresistible I’m.”

Her: “Haha I see”.

Do this a playful way and look how she reacts. If she is into you, just keep going. If you go out of words, ask her to dance. It’s good place to escalate physically. Although you can escalate physical at the place you are at the moment, sitting in table example:

Ask her example either she goes for gym. If she does, ask her to flex her biceps. Now squeeze it and be like:

You: “Woah, you are pretty strong. I’m getting scared.”

Her: “Haha”

Now let her test your. Don’t brag it. Even if you have huge arms, joke about it:

You: “Your’s are almost bigger than mine.”

Then throw some playful line:

You: “But look at my tits, they are bigger than yours”

Her: “Haha, almost”

You: “You wanna try them when flexed?”

If she is still touching you, she is most likely into you sexually. Little by little take this furthermore. Next you can check either she has wristlet or something. Take her hand and look at it:

You: “Nice wristlet btw, most be worth of thousands as you are rich. Don’t worry I’m not going to steal it, just looking it haha”

Her: “Haha, should I believe you”

A lot of physical touching and flirting. This is what it’s about. You can push her a little bit and then pull her back, making her more into you. Like:

You: “You are so perfect. Only bad thing is, I don’t date blondes”

Her: “That’s sad”.

You: “Maybe I can make an expectation with you. Maybe”

Her: “Nice haha”

How to go for kiss?

Now when you have a little spark and sexual tension, it’s time to go for make out. Don’t ask for it. Go for it. Like:

You: “Your lips look so good”

Her: “Thanks”

Pull her against you and make a little kiss. Like in movies. Then continue it if she agrees. Making it more passionate. If she is into you, you can actually ask at this point if she is willing to go for after party. Don’t ask straight for sex. Ask something like: “It’s pretty hot here, I would like to leave. Should we go to your or our place?”

She may reject at this point, but it doesn’t mean she is not going to fuck you tonight. Just say: “Sorry, I’m taking things too fast. I don’t really do one night stands haha. I go for dates”. Take a step back and tease her. Ask again after a while if she would like to leave. Some will leave pretty fast, some not so fast. Just be patient. And don’t go desperate. This will kill the attraction immediately.

That was an example step by step approach to sex at bar. But the formula is same. Approach, tease her, flirt and be playful, make it physical and lastly ask for after party.

Other things

It’s numbers game. You’ll get rejections, everyone does. It’s easily to said than done, so read this approach anxiety guide which makes you handle rejections if you are struggling with it.

If there is a lot of guys and little to none girls, change the place. You can try to pickup those few girls there is, but if they won’t warm up, just go to another place. Usually it’s hard competition especially on dance floor, when many guys are trying to grind these few girls. It’s mostly the men who are majority at bars, but if the ratio is 60:40 or 70:30, it’s okay. More than that it’s starting to get harder.

Also, it’s okay to sit at table alone and drink a beer. Unless you do it all night. It won’t lower your social proof whatever, people don’t care. If you are alone, you can go to order a beer, try to pickup some chicks at bar, if you get rejected, you can go table to take a break off approaching. Scope if there are some possible girls you would like to f@#k. Then again start cold approaching. Go to maybe dance floor for a while. Back to table. For smoke. Approaching between all of this.

If you find a girl who is interested in you, do not leave her. Be with her from the beginning of your meeting to whole night. Have a conversations, go to dance with her. Make out. Drink. Make it sexual. It’s okay to ask for sex after 10 minutes – 3 hours of your encounter. If she is not going to have a sex after 3 hours and there is still lot of time left on that night, grab her phone number and setup date later. Now change bar to go look for other girls. You can stay at the same bar, but if she finds out you are picking up other girls, she will probably go no contact on you. You need to make her feel unique and special.

Best time to go bar?

It’s depends on your location, but in my place it’s somewhere 00.00am, around midnight. Then the bars are full and there is still girls left, also more tipsy so they are more likely interested getting picked up. Don’t go on the time when bars are empty, like there is only few people. It’s waste of time. You need to wait until there is enough people there.


Bars and clubs are great places to pickup women, as they usually ends in same day(night) lays and are quick pickups. No dating required. Go there around midnight when it’s full of people, or if there are only few girls, change a bar.

An updated guide to get laid at bars is here:

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8 Replies to “How to pickup women at club/bar?”

  1. I like your style for going straight to the point and skipping useless games. I’ve never went bar alone, but now after reading your book I’m actually interested. There were good points in book but I’m still confused how to get courage to start this all? If you can give some tips I would appreciate

    1. Thanks! I highly recommend for going bar alone, I have had some of the best nights when going solo. Actually I have atm a project for making that book more detailed and it will include what you were confused about, but I have a lot of other things to do so this project is my side hobby and can’t promise when it will be ready. Just saying start it from baby steps, don’t push yourself on the limits right away but slowly build your confidence by firstly going for phonenumbers, then make outs, then lays.

  2. Do you have any type of pointers for creating write-ups?

    That’s where I constantly battle and I just wind up staring empty screen for long time.

    1. Hello Terra.

      A good pointers to create an article, I would say write on the paper a bullet points list about your own experiences with the subject you are going to write, the major things. Then break them down into smaller pieces in the article. That’s how I usually write when I get an inspiration. I try to remember the things I did and write about them, trying to mix my own stories and some information on the article. Hopefully this helps!

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