I wasted myself a lot of time for improving the game, without getting laid. I broke the approach anxiety, greatly improved my social skills and became smooth and playful around girls. Dominant, good bodylanguage. Overall outgoing and good interacting with women, but I was still struggling to get laid. I never did. I thought that I NEED to have a toptier game to get access on sex. Or after I had got my game there, I wouldn’t have to put anymore effort on this and will have girls drooling over me.
Also one reason that was stopping me was reading about pickup stuff and it’s complicated patterns that you should go dates before sex, I hadn’t mindset that women wants random sex too. I had mindset that I need to demonstrate them that I’m alpha male who is hard to get, they need to put effort and chase me. After that I would access to them anytime, having multiple girls same time chasing me. I went so wrong in so many things.
Then one night on club I stopped give a f#@! about “rules” of the “game”. I just went as natural as it gets, to ask for sex after spending my night with this girl. Before this I would be too scared to ask this, as I thought if I ask for sex I look too ‘desperate’, and would instead asked phonenumber to get dates and ‘build attraction’. What a waste of time.
This night changed it all. I realised that I don’t need to build attraction via dates. I can ask for sex and won’t get rejected because of that. I don’t need toptier game for getting sex. Also dating her after having a sex changes the parts. Now I’m having the ball on my side.
If I wouldnt do that back then, I would probably had waste shit tons of more time on improving game and finally after lots of dates to get laid. And after that still would have a little to no experience off that. Which ironically would’ve made my game worse. The less confident I’m about having sex via lack of experience, the more I would give subconsciously a vibe of not being a player.
Also, the confidence boost after starting to get laid was 100x more than what I had before, like collecting phonenumbers and having a textgame with multiple girls, however not f#cking any of them.
That’s when the things started to click. I would had lot more faster progress and became confident and good at this if I would have started from the beginning to go for sex instead of focusing how to build attraction and comfort so they may in future have sex with me when tehy are attracted or comfort around me.
I realised that there is not a such thing. The amount of time required to built attraction to get laid, is on the first few minutes after your encounter.
Lay by lay, the more girls I f@cked, the more confident I became. And naturally created a demeanor of attractive male. Even if all the girls weren’t high quality girls, they still granted me a experience and via that more confidence. Which made in future easier to pull high quality girls.
This is something I wanted to write about. If you have spent a lot of time with this self-improvement stuff, done shit loads of cold approaches, gone on dates, but still struggling to get laid, you should forgot for a while for ‘improving the game’ and just go for sex. By overthinking that your game is not good enough and you are not smooth enough, or that she’s not yet attracted to you and you need to build more attraction, you became too paranoid to ask for sex. And things aren’t going anywhere. Even if your attempt to ask for sex is not the smoothiest move straight off the movies, it doesn’t matter she would reject you. I have had so clumsy approaches for sex and still got laid that it doesn’t require some super game to get there.