You know that Feeling when you have been messaging with cool chick, then suddenly this Girl ghosts You?
The Feeling that she’s playing games on you… (Check guide to Read Redflags and avoid women who are not worth your time)
The Feeling when everything is going well, she’s into you and the future looks bright. Then suddenly she goes no contact.
A full radio silence. She’s not answering anymore to your messages.
That’s Fucking frustrating and annoying feeling, I’ve gone through it countless times and fortunately managed to fix the problem (Hint: acquiring “I don’t give a Fuck attitude”)
In this post I’m going to go through how to deal, and more importantly: how to turn tables when she is not answering anymore to your messages/phone calls.
I Learned this Hard Way (Storytime, naive me and and girl who ghosts me)
My first successful pickup at Bar a long time ago that lead to phone number ended up to Flake.
As excited I was after “making it“, I remember how I was thinking hours what to text to her so I don’t f#ck things up and lose her attraction…
The worst thing you can do, The Desperation…
Of course I was so wrong at that moment back then.
I should have had The Mindset: “I text her. If she don’t reply or acts bitchy, f#ck her. I go for another one”.
Not Enough Alpha Male Traits…
Instead I was thinking: “What should I text her so she would still maintain interest on me. If she acts bitchy I try to game on her”.
I lacked self-respect hard. I missed so many Alpha Male Traits I later acquired…
If the girl had a bad response or she didn’t reply on my texts, I still tried to save the situation desperately.
I should have went straight to complete no-contact at that point, but I didn’t…
The very first girl I tried to run some text game, I texted to her some playful stuff and shit, which didn’t lead anywhere.
I did analyze every fucking little thing, every reply she was sending…
I did desperately replied to her in 10 seconds so she would keep me on her mind.
And then out of suddenly, she ghosted me…
I was so confused. Why she suddenly stopped replying my messages.
I got headache when I was analyzing did I say something wrong and she lost interest because of that.
Why do Girl Ghosts? Explanation for Flaking.
Few possible reasons:
- You texted too much or replied too quick and that made you look too desperate (messages should only change when you are about to setup a date) and she lost interest
- She wasn’t attracted to you from the beginning. Some women just gives their number as being a polite, not intend to take things anywhere.
- She found someone else she’s attracted
The reason for flaking is: she isn’t interest on you anymore or she’s rapidly losing the interest…
If you want to save the situation, read below:
What you should do now after Girl Ghosts your Messages?
Go full no-contact.
There is no reason to try to save the situation, all you are doing is giving her the validation which she doesn’t earn from you.
I tried to save these kinds of situations desperately back in the days.
When girl started flaking, I thought maybe she’s just testing me and I didn’t text to her for few days…
Until I did. And these never ended up anywhere.
All I got after trying to save those situations, was drained mental energy and time which I could use to find better girls.
Double Flake: Double Pain
One girl who played me:
She went out of nowhere no contact and stopped messaging me.
hen weeks later she contacted on me.
Of course I was exited and replied to her.
I felt way worse than on the first ghost she did to me.
I did learn hard way that there is no point to give more attention to her and I just simply should go no-contact.
The mistake I did back then, replying her messages after ghosting:
I did that because I had a little hope that maybe these can be saved and attraction can be put back to fire.
All I did was wasted my time on them instead of finding a girls that actually would be attracted to me.
Important Lesson: never, NEVER double Text
After I had several experiences where girls did ghost my messages (The time I was way too naive and inexperienced with girls), I learned the lesson:
Text Only Once.
Never double text if she doesn’t answer the first message.
If she contact you much later (Days), you should be the one who care less.
Only if she initiate meeting and asks you for date, then go for it like in the beginning before she did ghost you.
Another important Note:
If you have setup a date and she flakes hour before date, do not contact on her anymore. Have some self-respect and don’t go date with her even she would ask it later.
If she flakes on you on the first date you have setup, she is not worth of your time.
How to avoid Flaking and Prevent her not Ghost Your Messages?
Shortly: Care less about her than she does you from the beginning.
This way You hold the Power…
If she already did ghost you, unfortunately afterwards there is little to no power and she’s having the ball at the moment.
One thing is what said on above, don’t text too often and be too desperate, as this is one sure way to kill an attraction.
Instead of thinking how to avoid them, you should accept the fact that she has the ball until you have f#cked her.
So all you can do now is to act non-needy and hope for the best.
Or not hope, that sounds needy.
Be neutral about it and don’t have any future plans with her.
This when you’ve picked her number from cold-approach.
On Tinder you have even less power to avoid flakes, and they are very common on there.
Flakes sucks bad. It’s just horrible feeling when you have put some good text game on her and having a good future plans, and then ‘boom’, a flake.
That’s why I don’t plan future. That’s why I have a mindset that if she flake, it’s no-contact and I go f#ck other women.
This attitude of not caring too much makes her more interested in you.
That’s the attitude I’m talking about in The Player System…