By inspired the last article, “14 Redflags you should be aware of“, I decided to make another relationship related article. The more darker topic, about how to get over by getting cheated and betrayed by your Girlfriend.
All the guys who have been gone this, me including, know how fucking terrible feeling it is to get betrayed by your loved one.
If you have just experienced this horrible situation and you are looking for ways to get over this depressive state, hopefully this article will help you to get on your feet.
Note: If you are woman reading this article, this isn’t misogynistic article of telling all women are cheaters. There are cheaters in both genders. Every cheater, either Man or Woman, are Traitors and one of the lowest scums on the Earth. But because I’m mostly writing dating advice for men, this article is about getting cheated by Girlfriend. The same applies if getting cheated by Boyfriend.
Realize that you are the Good Person and don’t blame Yourself
Cheater is always the evil person.
If she start blaming you for different reasons why she did cheat, like you didn’t give enough attention to her, remember that taking an action to cheat is always cheater fault. It’s never yours fault.
So if she starts manipulation of putting the fault on you, don’t take that bullshit. You were the loyal one who didn’t cheat.
Betrayal is the worst thing one can do to other, especially if the one is very close and important person for the one who is getting betrayed.
If you haven’t gave her enough attention, it doesn’t give reason for her to cheat.
Whatever she says for the reason for cheating, she’s the Traitor, not you.
And Traitors, either men or women, are one of the lowest scums out there.
Realize she’s wasn’t worth to have relationship in the beginning with and saved your time
There can be found some positive things too after getting cheated on, even it’s stunning depressing and horrible experience.
Realize this: She isn’t, and never was worth of your time.
Normal, mature people would break up before cheating. People who are loyal and have code of morals.
She didn’t have.
She is a cheater, and cheaters usually stay cheaters.
Realize that having a relationship with cheater is never worth it. She never was worth of your time and energy.
If you didn’t have long relationship, and now you know she’s a cheater, think about it this way:
You dodged a bullet.
It’s better to realize traits like this in early stages of the relationship than after 10+ years when you possibly have children.
Imagine if you would have spend 10 years of your life with her and you had sacrificed lot of energy and time to keep her happy, only getting up cheated in the end.
You now have a new life ahead.
You saved yourself from a lot, lot worse misery than you are feeling now as you know her real person 10 years earlier.
Even if you feel now that there is no light in the end of the tunnel, you’ll get over it and you are thankful for saved time in the future.
Recovering the destroyed Self Esteem after Betrayal
Getting cheated on really can destroy one’s self esteem.
You may feel that the one she cheated was more successful than you.
He wasn’t. She would have cheated anyway, whoever was her current boyfriend.
If and when you break up after this, and you accidentally go stalk her Instagram and see new boyfriend with her, you might feel destroyed inside.
You need to realize that it’s fake happiness. The guy in the picture with her will unfortunately get the same destiny as you.
Anyway, as you may now feel very unattractive as she went for other guys, realize these things:
- You already seduced her in the first place. If you can get a Girlfriend once, you can get another one always. But for now it’s better focus on yourself.
- Your persona wasn’t the cause of her going to cheat. It’s her persona.
- Don’t compare you to the guy she cheated. This will only make you miserable and won’t get you anywhere. Either the guy was very hot guy, or more unattractive than you, your (ex)girlfriend had some personal problems to do this for you.
If you did gain fat while the relationship, you can always cut it and become the same or even more attractive person than before.
Battling with the negative thoughts on your mind and feeling low self worthy as you got treated like this isn’t something you can find out. The answer is in her mind and you can’t get there.
Also realize that even some of the most attractive guys in the world, Hollywood Stars, Pro Athletics, Millionaire male models have gotten cheated on in the history. And in some cases with guys who are a lot lower ladder in attractiveness hierarchy.
And if elite guys like these will get cheated on, the only one to be blamed on is the cheater.
Cheater will always cheat, no matter how great the partner is.
Realize this and you see that you are not alone. You are the same attractive person you were before.
Know your value
As above I said that you are still the same attractive guy you were before, you need to regain the faith in yourself.
You were loyal to her.
You treated her good.
You were a lot more worthy than she did deserved.
She never really loved you if she did cheat you, neither she probably can’t love anyone else, including herself.
You’ll deserve a loyal woman who loves you. You might now have a negative image of women, but you need to know that there are a lot of loyal, good women out there who would love you. It’s just matter of time when you meet one. Just heal your wounds from this poisonous relationship before you jump for next one.
Don’t take her back
In the first place she is probably going to blame you and behave shit towards you after you find out about cheating.
She is angry and hateful first.
And when you dump her, she is most likely going to apologize, cry and beg you back.
Don’t accept. You can apologize her, but never take cheater back.
It will not end well and is more likely going to destroy you even more.
The decision of cheating is the end of the relationship. It will never be same again after that.
When you reject her, she’s likely going to crazy and trying to hurt you by saying how she fucked a guy who did give her ten orgasms.
Don’t give any attention to her and act neutral. This will make her mad as she realize you are not jealous. And those kind of stories of other guys she will brag to you are most likely false and her own imagination. The only purpose she would say things like that are because she realize she lost you and can’t get you back.
I have a friend I really feel bad about. He got cheated on in very long relationship, and he took her back after that. Then he got cheated again and this totally burned him. I supported him the best I could back then and did my best to get him back on his feet from that disaster. Fortunately he’s nowadays feeling better.
Use the Hate for Self Improvement to build new Successful Life for Yourself
After getting cheated on, you are probably feeling all kinds of feelings, like:
- Low self worthy
- Hate and rage
- Feeling stupid of being with woman like that
To get over this horrible phase of your life, it’s good chance to start a Hardcore Self Improvement journey.
Spend that hate and rage at gym. Lift weights like beast. If you already are ripped as fuck, start some Martial Arts to improve yourself even more.
Start planning long term financial plan and ways to become financially free, so you can start living a new rich lifestyle.
Example start online business and try to achieve multiple streams of passive income. (It’s hard. I also tried multiple ways to become Entrepreneur and make passive income when I got cheated on. Didn’t get anything successful though back then. I’m far away from riches, but I have made a little bit of progress. More about that on the new category)
Little motivation boost is to imagine her face when she see’s your new successful life.
Even you should give zero fucks about her at this point, imagine how she would desperately beg you back and you say “Fuck off” and continue your new successful lifestyle with your new, a way better Girlfriend.
Even it feels now that you will never get over being betrayed, you will, trust me.
Time heals all the wounds.
And when you use that hateful energy for improving yourself, you’ll become the Boss.
Just have patience and don’t start any bad habits, improve every aspect of your life and there is bright future ahead for you.
A lot better life than you had with your worthless traitor ex who cheated you.
And yes, I was little bit mad and had strong feelings while writing this article. The old memories came back even I have got over her a long time ago, I felt empathy to other bros who have experienced this fate and wanted to give support for these dark times the one feel after getting cheated.