How to get over Jealousy? Keep Reading, Guide is Below.
Negative thoughts. They are things that won’t bring anything in your table, but will drain away your energy and prevents you to succeed on every aspect of your life.
Feeling of Envy. It means someone has something you desire but you haven’t acquired. And you probably think you can’t acquire.
If you spent all your time and energy being jealous, you are only damaging yourself.
One Real Gem Related to Beating Negative Thoughts and How to Get over the Jealousy…
Before going to this Article of beating Jealously, I wanted to tell you about this Gem.
If you haven’t heard of this really good book related to this Article, I highly recommend to take a Read on it:
REINVENTING YOUR LIFE: THE BREAKTHROUGH PROGRAM TO END NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR AND FEEL GREAT AGAIN. BY JEFFREY E. YOUNG AND JANET S. KLOSKO.
This Book is Like Therapy with You and the past of Yourself.
It’s a program that makes you re-live your Life as a Child.
The Purpose for this Journey to live your life as child again, is to find Lifetraps (As the Author calls them) you might have.
The Lifetraps can be social anxiety, feeling of low self esteem, always feeling jealous about other people, being too dependent on other people and so on.
They are caused by some Traumas’s you have experienced on childhood.
This book helps you to beat those Lifetraps by living again the childhood as it might grant you some really good answers why you are feeling bad.
By facing again those bad memories, this book gives you the tools to recover from them and possibly changing the way you see things forever for Better way!
It helped me a lot to understand why I had suffered of some of the Lifetraps and helped me to Beat Them.
How to Get Over The Jealously…
Back to Article: How to get over the Jealousy and feeling of Envy?
The one you are being jealous don’t know neither care about your enviousness. You need to realize that the energy used for being jealous, should be used for you to achieve the thing you are desiring.
Put yourself above everything and stop hurting yourself.
Realize that you have no power over the thing that had happened. The only power you have, is the power to achieve the thing you are jealous about.
Either it’s you being jealous to someone who has a hot girlfriend, or nice car. Or he’s traveling a lot and have a life full of rich and great experiences.
Being jealous about someone having ripped body.
Or being jealous about your ex girlfriend (I will make another article about this one later).
The one that has something you desire, you have no effect on his/her accomplish. She/he have already got it and the past is past, there is no way to change how things went, only how things can become.
Instead of wasting your energy for that, use that energy to accomplish these things.
I know you are now saying:
- ”But he has rich parents who buy him fancy car and other stuff”
- ”But he’s so good looking that he don’t need to put any effort and that’s just wrong”
- ”He bought bitcoin in 2010 and is now millionaire having the life I’m just dreaming. It was just f#cking good luck like winning in lottery, I could have that too”
That kind of thinking is poison for you.
Brutal Reality, Life isn’t Fair…
Yes, the life isn’t fair.
Some guys are born with good looks. Some born in rich families. And other guys just get tremendously lucky, like win at lottery.
It doesn’t mean you should envy them. I didn’t have any of the things I just pointed, and I used to have that jealous attitude for people who got something I desired by just having good luck. But I got over it (I didn’t achieve riches neither looks of the male model, I’m still poor as f#ck, but I have rich sex life though after the effort I have put).
As you probably know my background story, from shy, kissless virgin in early 20’s to pussy pimping slayer, I used to envy a lot guys who had girls drooling over them before my transformation.
Then I realized a one thing:
I can’t affect the past, but the future. The cards that were dealt when I was born, I didn’t get Royal Flush but more like Two Pairs. (If you are not aware of the Poker hands, Royal Flush is the best hand)
To compare this Poker metaphor for real life, you can get decent hand with Two Pairs. You can’t get Royal Flush with Two Pairs, but you can get Full House or Four of a kind(second and third best hand), meaning we are playing Texas Hold’em.
The Poker Methapor
It’s about how you play your cards and somewhat of luck. Example round of Texas Hold’em:
- On the preflop you get a Pair of 3’s which is okay hand
- After preflop there will be 4,5,A in table. Somebody will probably bet because of the A. It can be bluff or she/he can have good starting hand like QK or KK. But you have too good chances to get winning final hand: Two Pairs, Three of a kind, Four of a kind or Straight. You buy the bet because the odds are good for Straight or Three of a Kind.
- Next there will be another A. The guy who did bet, bet more. You are still in, even odds aren’t as good.
- Final card will be again A. So the final cards in the table are: 4,5,A,A,A. The opponent skips. You bet as a half-bluff, and he bet’s All In after this. Now you are a bit worried. Do he bluff or do he really have some hand? You count the odds: There is 45 cards now left (52 – 5 cards in table – 2 cards in your hand). The odds of him having Four A’s is 4,5%. Pretty low. He can have also 2&3, giving him Straight. But you have a pair of 3’s, so the odds of him having that hand would be 0.2%. Maybe he have KK or QQ? Well you go for All In. Cards are revealed and he has a QK, meaning he bluffed and you won.
About the Round above…
I don’t say if that was good or bad way of playing the round, but the point was:
Even with pretty poor starting hand you can win a guy with good starting hand by playing it smart. The above example’s last round would be pretty risky in real life game, but experienced players can calculate the odds and read other players. Let’s say you did read him well by knowing he is bluffing because the first two bets and then passing the round, giving you opportunity to bet and scare him. But he had already bet so much that he hoped you were bluffing too because he didn’t want to give free win for you.
Not to analyze anymore that Poker round, you got the point. Playing smart with the cards you have dealt can get you success.
There are Lot of Ways to Play the Game
In the poker there are many styles for playing the game, here’s 4 most common:
- Tight Aggressive (Playing only good hands, but aggressively)
- Loose Aggressive (Bluffing aggressively, betting a lot even with bad hands)
- Tight Passive (Playing only good hands, never betting and letting other’s do the bets)
- Loose Passive (Worst style. Paying bets with bad hand and never bluffing or betting)
One thing is sure about those styles: Passive styles won’t win in long run.
To win on long run, you need to have an arsenal of many different skills:
- Calculating cards and odds.
- Having ability to read your opponent and revealing the most accurate hand he may have.
- Knowing your opponent. When he don’t bet suddenly after playing aggressively may mean he has a good hand he want’s to play smart. And you fold (quit the round).
- You can read when opponent goes tilt. He have been playing smart, not betting much and folding lot of hands. Then after big loss he starts maniac betting. You wait for opportunity and collect your winnings after you get good hand.
- Your ability to change the playing style and making it hard for opponent to read how you play.
- Having a poker face and not revealing anything for opponent, when he tries to read your facial expressions after every round.
Success is Luck AND Skill
The Poker is combination of Luck and Skill.
Just like succeeding in real life.
Don’t stuck in the passive mode by not doing anything but only following other’s and never getting nowhere but being just more jealous for those who succeed.
Instead go for that smart, aggressive mode, meaning you know that there are guys with good starting hand, but you don’t focus and envy them, because you know it’s part of the game. You wait for good chances where you have good odds for success, you take the action and little by little achieve your dream/s by using those opportunities and play it smart.
Passive guys don’t can only lose. They are the one’s who wine about guys who had good starting hand and won’t take any action to make them situation better. You don’t want to be this guy.
Also, even if you see those guys you envy, guys dealt with good hand, can still lose. Another part of the game. Good starting hand wont quarantee win.
Every people have their personal problems and insecurities. The money and success won’t guarantee happiness. All the time there are millionaires that have everything, expensive nice house/s, fancy cars, lot’s of women and rich sex life, traveling, parties, still ending up doing suicide.
When you next time envy guy like that, you can never get inside in his mind. He can be more unhappy than homeless people on the street and every day is mental torture for him, even it looks outside that everything is perfect.
I used to be the Passive one. Being too afraid to take the action and only blaming other’s because they had good starting hand, making it impossible for me to achieve that too because I wasn’t dealt with as good hand. This negative thinking did not get me anywhere but only made me depressed.
Going For Tight Aggressive
Then I enlightened and changed for Tight Aggressive.
I realized that you have this only one life, and you can either:
- Blame other’s success because of good luck you didn’t have, having a martyr attitude and wasting your precious time and energy for envying them than trying to actually achieving that success.
- You can take the action, play with the cards you had dealt and trying to achieve your dreams. By eliminating the feeling of envy of the other’s good starting hand is one step closer to happiness. Being jealous is only damaging you. It’s only feeling that you want to get control over. By having that control you can be the one who acquire success. The one who is not wasting life to blame other’s and never achieving anything the other’s have, but using that time instead of trying to achieve it or better. Life is too short to be wasted for being jealous.
The successful guys can accept that life isn’t fair and someone’s are much more luckier than other’s. They are aware that wishing the luck won’t do anything, but they need to take the action by themselves, even with poor starting hand and playing it smart and using every opportunity to accomplish their dream.
Become this guy, if you already aren’t.
More Good Sources
If you would like to get a similar article about how to acquire the Mindset to Beat the Shyness, sign up for Lonewolfmentality Newsletter if you already haven’t. You’ll get Free Sample of “The Lonewolf Game“, including chapter of acquiring the Mindset of Success.
Also here’s another of my article how to improve your personality (add it on your bookmark if you want to read those books first )