Below is Story how I managed to break extreme Social Anxiety. If you are suffering from Social Anxiety, hopefully, this success story motivates You!
I used to be extremely shy since my childhood.
I was that quiet boy in the group who never said a word, but I was only listening to what other boys were talking about.
There were a lot of times where I remember how I always would have had something witty to say in the topic we were talking about. But I did never open my mouth, though.
I kept those ideas in my mind, as I was afraid that others would judge me if I had talked.
This was an evil spiral that made me more and more socially anxious over the years. The vicious cycle of not opening my mouth and being quiet had a considerable impact on how bad my social skills did develop from childhood to late teens.
It was such a vicious cycle.
Vicious Cycle that was worsening Social Anxiety
When I didn’t talk back then, I became little by little, more and more insecure on the social situations.
Besides poor social skills, I had several other issues when I had to talk with people:
- I had to analyze everything I say, so I wouldn’t say anything stupid and become embarrassed. This made my conversations very short.
- My voice was shaky if I had to open mouth in the group of people.
- I felt very uncomfortable if I had to do small talk with someone. I just hoped that there would appear the third person who would take the lead and continue the dying conversation I had with a person initially.
- My face became red as a tomato if I said something stupid.
- I was overly Nice. I always wanted to please everyone, and I was afraid of haters. This had again a really bad impact on my socializing, as I had again think all the possible outcomes if I say what I was about say, so I don’t piss of anyone.
- I almost had a Panic Attack if I had to talk to girl
Needless to say that I had zero confidence in socializing and very low self-esteem.
This continued till the end of my High school and got just worse.
I always had a social circle and friends, though. But I was still that silent guy in these group of friends.
Alcohol as Key for solving the Social Anxiety?
I can still remember the first time I got drunk.
It felt ecstatic. All my anxiety, including Social Anxiety was gone. I thought in my head that this must be how it feels to be “Normal”.
When I was drunk, I made new friends as now I could socialize and joke around in a group of people without any anxiety.
Sadly (or fortunately) my body couldn’t stand alcohol and I had horrible hangovers every time I was drinking. (Check here my hangover cure guide for extremely horrible hangovers)
I decided to leave the alcohol, even it was a big part of my social life back then. This sacrifice did made my social life to suffer.
It’s either Try or Defeat.
Back to the end of my High School…
I was very depressed back then.
Besides suffering from social anxiety, I had zero experience with girls. Even I did a lot of sports on my teens and I had a really great body with ripped abs (Check article how to get Sixpack without Keto or other “modern” diets)
At the same time I envied those who had a good “dating life” at that young age.
The Social Anxiety must be Beaten
The Depression got me to the point where I had to make a big decision:
- I can live like this and fell deeper in depression…
- I start making a change to overcome the shyness, so I could finally live a normal life, lose my virginity and hopefully find a girlfriend and beat my depression.
I did choose the later one…
Hope From High School Psychology Lessons
As I had believed this far, that shyness was in my genes. I did never do anything to overcome it.
I took some psychology as an extra courses in my final year in High School.
They were precious and gave me hope. I still remember how the teacher told us that your current personality isn’t permanent. That you can change your personality if you put effort enough. She also taught us that shyness is not in genes, but it had roots in early childhood.
As I had now hope and evidence that overcoming shyness was possible, I did still search success stories of people beating shyness from the Internet.
By inspired some of the success stories, I was ready for the challenge.
I had nothing to hold my back now, as I had so much evidence that Shyness can be beaten.
At the same time, I started to look for advice on how to become excellent and confident around women.
I had 2 Goals:
- Beat my social anxiety
- Lose my virginity
After inspired some of the “dating advice” I found back then, I decided to leave my comfort zone…
The Journey to Beat the Social Anxiety Starts…
I started to go alone/sober to Bars and Nightclubs in an attempt to pick up women.
I did hit two birds with one stone by doing this: Improved my social skills for overcoming the shyness and possibly got some success with women.
The first times I went, there were pure disasters that ended up embarrassing failures…
But I didn’t give up…
I went for it again and again, weekend after weekend…
Not long, until I realized: Talking to people isn’t that bad.
The failures did taught me a lot and expanded my comfort zone.
At some point, my friends said to me:
“Brad, how are you so much more social suddenly? What have you done?”
These words from other people was a huge spark and motivator for me.
At least now I knew that I was getting progress and it was only a matter of time to get over the shyness and find a girlfriend.
If you are interested more detailed story of my life at that point, you can read here my experiences of going alone to Bars: How Kissless Virgin turned his Life Around and did beat the Shyness
Long story short: As the time flew and I kept going and pushed myself every time more far from my comfort zone, I finally managed to beat my shyness.
Conclusion and Improvement in Quality Of Life after Beating the Social Anxiety
I can say that it was the best and most valuable achievement I have ever done in my life.
It was a long, tough, and hard journey, which almost made me quit at some points…
I’m very glad I didn’t quit.
At the time I did completely overcame the shyness, I was happier than I ever had been in my life for that far.
The quality of my life did 100000x. Literally.
Not only talking about dating life, but it had positive impact in every aspect of my life, like making new friends, confidence to go for my dreams, success when building career etc.
So if you are suffering on social anxiety and you are reading this, Remember that Shyness can be Beaten.
Hopefully my story motivates you, like the other success stories did motivate me in the past…
Check here good Sources that helps a lot with overcoming Social Anxiety. I hope I would knew about them back then. But because I didn’t, I still want to share them with you, so your process will be a much easier. Good Luck!