What it means to be in relationship? In this article, besides that, I tell you how to make a relationship more interesting and keep the spark of attraction flowing…
Either you are currently:
- In a happy relationship
- On your journey to become successful with women
- Or you have just broken up with your ex-girlfriend, and you are in the healing process, this article is for all of you:
Meaning of the Relationship, and how to make it Good and Exciting?
I have personally experienced both extremities:
- Toxic, Bad Relationship
- Excellent and Happy Relationship
Both of these experiences taught me a lot in life.
Toxic Relationship drains Your Souls…
The toxic relationship taught me to learn more self-respect and not to sacrifice my own wellbeing to fight against the uphill battle. This relationship was my first girlfriend. It was not the classic inexperienced men situation:
Jump in the relationship with the first woman who gives you attention.
No. I had already lived the Player Lifestyle before this. But…
I was still too inexperienced about relationships when I started this on with her. At the honeymoon period its the same story as everyone: She is perfect, and no other woman can compete over her. Sadly I couldn’t read the “Red Flags” back then (Check this list of red flags on women so you can avoid broken heart), and after the honeymoon period, I got burned. I got burned bad…
Opposite of the Toxic Relationship
Then I had shorter “relationships” after breaking up badly (few months of dating, I don’t count them as girlfriends), until I met the other extremity: Happy and non-toxic relationship.
The beginning of the story was the same as with my ex on the honeymoon: Everything about her is perfect, and I could not find any bad traits.
At this moment, I was though experienced enough to read those red flags, and she had barely any of them…
Shortly: After the honeymoon, there were none of those horrible moments I had in the earlier toxic relationship for over two years. Everything just fit in and clicked perfectly.
The Endgame of the Dating Game
This is where I want to state what is the meaning of being in relationship:
It’s the endgame where you have your life companion:
- To start a family with her.
- Grow up and age together.
- Have a children (if you both want it. Personally I think having children is one of the purposes of life)
- Share your life together. It’s not anymore about living for yourself and experiencing all the good and bad moments alone. You share your bad and good moments with her, and she does the same to you. This doesn’t mean you should live in symbiosis, you both should still have your own lives to live. By having no other life than your partner is toxic too. Moderation is the key.
- She is like your best friend (Of course you should also have your own friends too), but you see her more like a person who is close to you, meaning you can act completely comfortable just being yourself around her and not fake anything.
- That’s what it means to be in a relationship.
- The feeling of safety, the feeling of proximity. The feeling that you want to share your life with this person for the rest of your life.
What people usually do in a Relationship?
If you have never been in a relationship and you are wondering about what people usually do in a relationship, here are common things (after the honeymoon period):
- Spending time together, maybe starting new hobbies together or either of the partners invites/teaches his/her own hobby to others. Example, I did hit the gym together with my gf, and I also taught her martial arts and self-defense. She instead taught me dancing, which she had trained for her whole life.
- Chilling at home, just watching tv/netflix or playing videogames together, making food, helping partner with school stuff example. Or just lying in bed and cuddling for hours, having deep or non-deep conversations. When you can talk about anything with your partner, you know that you are in a good relationship.
- Having sex, of course. When you are in relationship, it doesn’t mean you don’t need to work on it. You need to keep the spark of attraction flowing. If the sex is becoming boring and routine, you need to make changes to make it interesting again. I already wrote a complete guide about how to avoid having sex as a routine in The Player System.
- Meeting yours and her family and visiting at their places for dinner example. At the holidays, like Christmas, spending time with her/your family instead of spending it together.
- Spending time with both of your friends. This doesn’t mean that your life turns into “boring relationship life”, I know you have read those stories were having parties and drinking beer with your homies turned into polished dinners with other couples where you sip wine. Not that way…
- Going out to events and experience things: Restaurants, Movies, Theaters, Festivals, Concerts… Whatever you prefer.
- And of course fights from time to time. In every relationship, there are disputes: in Toxic ones and in Good ones. Having a dispute is normal and healthy, which belongs to relationship life. If there are zero fights in relationship, that’s unhealthy…
So basically, people in relationships spend time with the partner like she is a good friend, but there is also the aspect of growing together, meeting each other relatives, and possibly planning the family life.
How to make a relationship more interesting?
Few of my tips to make the relationship more interesting:
- Try some new hobby that neither of you have never tried before.
- Take her to dates. Even though you had already done the dating part when you met her, to keep the spark flowing in the relationship, you should still take her to dates from time to time. This means, for example, going to a romantic dinner or a spa. Women love these.
- Surprise her from time to time with a gift. It doesn’t need to be expensive, like jewelry. It can be as simple as flowers (Every woman loves to get flowers). These kinds of little positive indications keeps the spark flowing.
- Travel together. This is a big one. Traveling is always a great experience, and when you share it with your partner, you reforge memories to remember for both of you. You can also talk endlessly about your traveling trips.
- Have sex in some new places that make it exciting. Maybe public toilet or at the forest (Not some dirty club toilet, meaning having sex in a public place).
- Give massage to each other from time to time. Everyone loves to get a massage, and this positive indication makes you both on a good mood.
Few of my tips on how to ruin the Relationship:
- Lose your backbone, and never put up against her if she tries to shit on you. If you become too “gentleman” who is always ready to put your wellbeing below her and she realized that she could control you, however, she wants, she will lose respect for you. And if you keep getting being beta, in time, she will also lose the interest on you. Women love strong men, so have some backbone and balls to not get dominated; she will respect you more when she realizes this.
- Let her make new “guy” friends when you are in the relationship. This is the rule I say at the beginning of the dating for women: She can have male friends she knew before me, but making new ones when she is with me is no no. In the toxic relationship my ex used to make new male friends, and of course, I got cheated on by them. That was the moment I decided that no relationship is worth if you are not her #1, and she respects your will to not make new male friends. Same goes for me, I don’t make new female friends if I am in relationship.
- Stick in your routines, and never try anything new. Even if you are living a good casual life, in the long-term, this becomes boring and decreases her and your interest in the relationship. Both of you require new activities and change the routines.
- If you are feeling stressed, depressed, or non-happy in the relationship, try your best to make the relationship better again, for example, with the things in the list I wrote above. If they don’t help neither and you don’t feel good, it’s better to break up than staying in a dying relationship. Maintaining a good relationship requires work from both of you, and if you are the only one who tries to make it better with no good results, it’s better to leave the sinking ship. By forcing yourself to save relationship that can’t be saved will only drain your energy and time.
Conclusion about the Meaning of being in a Relationship
Even being in a good relationship requires constant work to keep the spark flowing. Just recognize your limits: the energy required to work for spark should not stress you too much. In every relationship there will be harder times, but don’t surrender neither too early. Only if you can see that there is no life together with her in future…
And that’s the meaning of the Relationship:
Finding your life companion to live a family life in the future and age together, hopefully living the rest of your life with her, and when you are old, you can see your grandchildren…
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Until Next Time,